Knife!

But first, a little background. The bishopric released almost every woman in the ward from their callings. I have had no Sunday School teacher for the past three weeks. Another oddity is that I have had 10 lessons on self-esteem in the past 10 weeks... which is something that all of you know I have no problem with. But I digress. The point is, I was in a different Sunday School class, and Sister Lemon was subbing. Our class, the middle one, sub-divided into the classes above and below us. Somehow this meant that 98% of the weirdos in our ward were in this class... I can sometimes be included in that percentage, so I speak with a great deal of love, or fear, as the case may be.

And now to the real story. Zachery Slaughter had his suit coat in this lap, and was fiddling with something. Josh Jackson interrupted whatever was going on, and called across the classroom. "Zach, why are you playing with a knife???"

  

This is what my face probably looked like. Josh went to go take it away from Zach, but Bryce Francom interrupted, "Don't take it, it's my sister's knife!" So everyone focused in on KJ. Yes, it was hers. So she took it back. Now lets get some things straight. This was not a pocket knife.

Like this, only more serrated, and scarier.

This was a jack knife with a 5 inch-long-blade. She keeps it in her scripture bag. She gave it to the stupid teenage boy sitting next to her to play with. She never leaves her house without a weapon of some sort. We will try to stay out her way now. 

I think I want to join the relief society now. Old ladies are safer.