During my first stages of life I was surrounded by love and support. I didn't have to doubt myself or my abilities because everyone knew I could do it. I may have been shy and averted to sharing my talents with strangers, but I did it anyway. When something went wrong I knew my Mom and Dad would fix it, and there was always something good at the end of the tunnel, just within sight. With help from my family and teachers I learned to play and sing and challenge myself academically. Sure I felt overwhelmed at times, but it was easier to get through when Mom was there with one arm around me and the other going through our chocolate stash.
Now I've moved away to college, where love and support is only a phone call away, but that call is more likely to turn on the waterfall of emotions and leave you yearning for the physical comfort that loved ones give. Making friends is hard, especially when everyone else is feeling vulnerable and nobody knows where they're going to end up in a few months. Building relationships that form your structure away from home are mostly made by witnessing others' struggles, weaknesses, and emotional breakdowns and letting them in when you have yours. When you run into other friends (your or your family's) from home you remember how nice it is to see a friendly face and not wonder if a hug would be weird, you just go for it. Eventually your roommates (the family away from home) start to tell how you're feeling; by a shared look, the way you're complaining, what music you're listening to, the show you're watching, or changing into your comfy clothes at 4pm. They can stay up and talk with you until 2am so you can vent your feelings and stress out about school and all the homework you have to do and the sleep you're losing. They are the reason a carton of ice cream only lasts two days and we run out of spoons. Hopefully they'll stop you from making those bad sleep deprived decisions you later regret. Sometime she will refuse your help and insist on doing everything herself- despite a broken leg and having to deal with all kinds of pain.
That's how I learned that women are strong because they were once weak, and they are bound to be weak again soon. Strong women became who they are by relying on others and helping them in their turn. They are by no means perfect, but they know the value of imperfections. Strong women build each other up instead of tearing each other down because there's strength in numbers. They know not to tear themselves down either, although that is sometimes a bigger trial. In addition to relying on her "sisters" a strong woman must also rely on God. After all, he makes weak things strong and knows everything we could ever want to share with him.
So now I make decisions -usually by avoiding them or jumping into something big and scary, then fretting about it periodically- using what I have learned by watching the women in my life to help me when things go sideways. Which brings us to today. As a college student my life is full of classes, homework, and midterms (way more than there should be). On top of that, because I don't know any other way to live than keep myself busy, I get to perform with a wonderful group. That means practicing and rehearsals and performances; keeping up with more expectations and having a demanding schedule on top of my poor excuse for a personal life.
Setting: After a weekend of relaxing and barely leaving the apartment, I'm feeling well rested, with only a slight weight on my mind about the midterm I'm planning on taking the next day and when I'll study for it. The day goes mostly as planned, except I discover I have another midterm I wasn't counting on. In the interest of not having to pay to take a test, I decide to take the new midterm the next day. Unfortunately I also have the most classes that day and a performance. The hour I gain from my new midterm professor cancelling class for the day leaves an 1 1/2 hour window of time when I can take the test and still make it everywhere on time. Also, as I get ready for bed I manage to hit myself in the face with a door. Hoping it doesn't bruise too badly for the copious amounts of makeup I'll be wearing anyway, I fall asleep.
And... Action! I wake up a little before 8 so I can get mostly ready for an evening performance that I won't have time to do later (at least I was right about that). I get my hair and makeup done and run around to find breakfast and lunch for the road as I head to class. We're doing a lab that morning to calculate our latitude and longitude from the position of the sun. Like I needed a reminder that time was passing. Then on to Devotional where we learned how to be happy and grateful. (Shout out to all the people that make me who I am if you didn't get that earlier) While I'm getting ready for my next class and pulling out my notes for the midterm later I realize I've forgotten my book at my dorm -for an open book test. To be lucky enough for that opportunity is a responsibility not to squander it. The clock starts once my current class ends. Leaving now isn't a good option, because we're covering new material, and leaving class early would mean missing the attendance quiz. So as a last stitch effort I message my roommates to see if anyone can bring it to me so I don't have to run there and back for my test. Since I don't hear back, it's time to run. Once I make it to the Testing Center, I unwitting enter the slowest line, and most of the attendants leave the counter for some reason or other. As I take my test -all short answer, which is just rude- God finds a way to slow time just for me, since there's no way I actually wrote that fast. As I get to the end I avoid looking at the clock. Turns out the 20 minutes I took to run home comes back around as the 20 minutes I'm late to the next class. Running again, I take my place as we practice for the performance less than 2 hours away. All this running leaves me physically and mentally tired and emotionally overwhelmed. Tears are shed - a real woman always brings tissues- and a loving section leader reassures and soothes. My singing was definitely sub-optimal since I could barely control my breathing. I try to pace myself on the walk home, and stop by the post office to drop off my brother's birthday card so he'll get it in time. I pull out all of the microwavable food I can find so I can eat something before I fix my hair and makeup before I leave again. I listen to loud music and sing like a saucy Spanish senorita. Singing with my girls and dressing up helped me leave my problems behind for a bit. I manage restrain my emotions so that they show and help the music without making me break down again. After the performance I make a beeline for the Creamery and on the way I meet another woman from choir who joins me. As I walk through the buildings savoring ice cream and feeling a chill down my spine when the wind picks up, I fell the most peaceful I have all day. (And of course when I got home I paired my ice cream with the leftover chocolate cake from the day prior, because a woman doesn't let her bakes go to waste.)
The Lesson: So I did something crazy and had a busy day, everyone does once in a while, right? Right, and it prepares us for the next one. It's hard to pull yourself out from the stupor and distress of life. It makes you stronger. And none of it would be possible without the other leading ladies in our lives. After all, you are the hero of your own story, so you need to make sure you get a hero's ending.
Today I woke up early. I did my hair using countless bobby pins that I may never see again, held together with enough hairspray to asphyxiate a person. I washed, moisturized, spot checked, smeared, and powdered my face. I darkened and shaped my eyelashes and eyebrows. I colored my lips. I dressed up in fancy clothes. And yes, I did it for all the things that I had to do today, but I also did it for me. Some women feel the need to do this every day, and they look fabulous. However, it's not how you get ready for the day that matters, it's what you do. Your journey may take you through unknown places, you may only survive through blood, sweat, and tears, but you make it through.
Our society is filled with new women's campaigns that try to immortalize, equalize, and dis-categorize how we perceive women. Some of the most notable women of our day get up to their elbows in the politics and publicity of promoting females. There's a market for female role models, starting with princesses and celebrities and going down to your Mothers and adoptive "Moms" that really affect your life. So if you're a feminist (gut reactions aside), a supporter of HeForShe, speaking out in any way that makes you #OwnYourVoice, or sharing your goals through #OneDayIWill; please keep in mind who got you here and how you developed (most of this applies to guys too). Be the person you needed, help others avoid your mistakes, and keep doing what you do. Because the way you learn what a woman is, is by watching what she does. Being a woman means giving love to those who need it most, and not forgetting to love yourself. Being a woman means getting through things you never thought you could.
#TodayIdid
