October 12, 2013- Bonanza's first Marching Band Competition for the year.
I'm sure that somewhere in the fold of reality there is an explanation for how the incoming freshmen seem more immature than the previous freshmen. I haven't found it yet.
This year I've been worried about the freshies in my section, especially the ones that are actually freshmen, and not older band people being moved into my section. They all mess around and say things that are neither funny nor intelligent. They've been better lately about being quiet during rehearsals, but I was ready for this competition to be over already. In the back of my mind I thought that once they went to a competition they would suddenly be mature and competent.
Right before we went out to perform, we lost a triangle beater. It was ok, we found a temporary solution and had a good show. Back in the parking lot everything was reorganized and prepared to load into the U-haul. That is when I realized three things. One, we had lost a triangle, Two, our Gong had a crack, and Three at least one person knew this and none of them told anyone. (especially me)
I found all of this out when I went through to check that everything was there. Then I got to go and tell my instructor and my director what was going on. The past few days (weeks, months) have been very stressful. I have done some kind of amazing things, figuring stuff out, helping everyone, making sure everyone gets, has, and does what they need. Just fixing problems and trying to make life easier for the people in charge who are going crazy. Now, I feel like it's not even worth it. What good are small victories when they get replaced by big problems? At the time they gave me a sense of confidence and control, so I'll just try to focus on that.
Even after all that happened, my freshies still act...like freshies. Should I have been more hard on them? It doesn't seem like they understood the impact of what happened. I was in a bad mood for a bit. I had too much time to think, and when someone interrupted my thoughts I wasn't too kind. I called Mom once we had everything put away, and broke down. A few people noticed, and they were nice about it, they helped keep the pit in line for the rest of the day. I didn't let on to anyone else what exactly happened, I don't want them to ever see me like this; it would change things, they need to see me as some one who won't take crap and knows how to handle themselves. When we got to the stands to see the rest of the bands I didn't make them sit with me. I don't think I could've handled it.
People are right when they say that the Band and the Sections are a family. Today I felt many emotions similar to those that i feel with with my own siblings. But they aren't my siblings, so i couldn't yell or throw things even though I wanted to, and I couldn't go hide in my room. When I got home and helped do the dishes with much resistance on every part, I realized that I didn't feel like the pit members were my brothers and sisters, I felt like I was their mother. I still like kids, but I'm not ready to be a mom, so I'm still hoping that they will suddenly grow up so I can feel like an empty-nester.
One other thing, because my life revolves around relating everything to a movie. (And I'm tired of sad stuff)
The Incredibles: Cave after Elastigirl leaves
Not that this isn't fun... But I'm gonna go look around (ect. ect.)
Do you think this is some kind of Vacation?
And: In the car on the way home from fighting a giant Robot
This was the best Vacation ever! I love our family.
They just don't understand that this isn't a Vacation, this is a Competition. And no one should have to be your mother.
